In Which I Complain about Lethargy and Get Excited About Life.

Monday nights always leave me so… lethargic. Six hours of class over a fourteen-hour span just doesn’t leave much room for my brain to be productive afterward. I just spent the last hour staring at the computer, oogling over a new pair of shoes that I want (Vibram FiveFingers – they sound SUPER comfy and like they just might fix my ankle problems!) and repeatedly checking my email and Facebook, so with the intention of maybe increasing productivity, I decided to blog just a little bit here! And then maybe I’ll kick my butt into gear and read history or something before bed.

I’m getting really excited about next quarter. I realize this quarter isn’t even halfway done yet (well, it will be come Friday… hurrah!) but I’m most certainly starting to plan ahead. One of my favorite teachers is teaching one of my favorite subjects (Operations Research – it’s awesome) and I’m just getting super stoked at the possibility of having her again for a class I think I’ll really enjoy. Add that to the fact that I’d get some more really amazing professors (both of whom I’ve heard nothing but good things about) and that 7am class would be a long-forgotten memory and voilà! I have a very wonderful quarter ahead of me.

It’s moments like these that I just get so excited to be in Industrial Engineering. I had a great time in my lab tonight learning all about improving processes by using lean manufacturing, and then got to come home and think about all the new things there are to learn. Oh goodness, does it feel right right here! And on top of that, the rest of life just looks so good as well. Sometimes I can’t get over the awesomeness of it. Well, actually, I’d really rather not. I always want to be wowed by how amazing everything is, how right everything feels. I get the feeling that God is smiling at me, and I just… I always want Him to be this happy, so I can be happy too.

Amore :)

I never want to get over this feeling.

This feeling of just knowing that this is right, that this is where I, where we, are supposed to be. This complete awe that I get to date him, that I’m the luckiest girl in the world, that he’s by my side.

I’m crying tears of happiness and have been for, like, an hour. I can’t really tell you why I’m crying – like, I really have no basis for it – but every few minutes they well up inside me again and just have to come out. And then I giggle and smile and move on until the next batch hits me.

Even though life is stressful. Even though I have a midterm tomorrow. Even though this week barely slowed down for an instant to let me catch my breath. I’m still so thankful, so beyond giddy, so in love.

Two years… such a long time… but not nearly long enough! 🙂

Friday Night Awesomeness!

This is me bawling because my boss won’t be my boss in a week.

He just sent me “business”-related stuff, aka an evaluation of me that I’m supposed to review by Monday, and… I didn’t realize that I’m so highly regarded by him. He makes me sound like I can (and do!) do everything. Which is so freaking empowering. My contributions are being noticed! 🙂 I feel like he really knows and understands me as a person… I really want to become his friend outside of the job.

Other than re-realizing this fact I had a kick-awesome night. My roomies (both past and present) went to go see Hellogoodbye downtown, and goodness, they were good! And not only that, but all of the opening bands (yes, all – there were three: Now Now Every Children, You Me and Everyone We Know, and Gold Motel) were amazing as well. I have so much new music to buy.

Hellogoodbye could not accurately be described if the word “adorable” wasn’t involved. They are a group of guys that seemed to be pulled straight out of the fifties, complete with the Woody Allen glasses, button-up shirts, and nice-fitting jeans. There was even a trombone player on stage with them… a little bit too perfect, if you ask me. The stage was decorated with four wooden boxes with a word engraved into each one, spelling out “Would It Kill You?” (which is the name of their new album) with Christmas lights illuminating them. This totally made me feel like I was standing outside on a warm summer’s night listening to these guys perform… and that I should be wearing my saddle shoes, a big poofy skirt, and a bow in my hair while I was dancing along to the music. Everything was so simple, yet so perfect. Not to mention their music, which was wonderful! I was only familiar with their old stuff (aka Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs! … and only a couple songs from it at that) so hearing all of their happy, adorable new music was quite uplifting and put me in a good mood.

What was also cool about tonight was that Anna (my roommate from last year, who was with us) is friends with Now Now Every Children, who as I mentioned before was an opener. So we got to talk to them after the show. They seemed so nice! And they were quite cute too – all three of them are very tiny!

The one thing that I wasn’t so okay with was this creepy guy trying to dance with my friends and me. He just made us feel… uncomfortable. I’d like to think that I can do anything that I want to by myself – that I can go out with my girlfriends and have a great time and not be bothered by people like him. I guess the sad reality is that there really are people out there that are forward enough to verbally and physically make moves on us because we are women who aren’t “protected” by men. In no way did I appear to be interested in or looking to find someone; I was simply excited to be out with my girlfriends at a great show. Yet why is it so acceptable to think that if we are not with a guy, we want to find one? I don’t like the attention, especially because I know what their motives are, and it makes me really nervous and scared for my own safety. The world is a lot more twisted than I tend to realize, which makes me really sad. Equality between men and women, it seems, still doesn’t happen everywhere, in every situation. Women are still very vulnerable, and what’s really upsetting is how many will fall victim to these actions. (not that all of them despise it like I do either, but I feel that that’s an entirely different issue)

When the guy approached me I instantly wished for Davis – for his protection and his company, because I think he would have enjoyed the show too. I wish we could have danced to “Here (In Your Arms)” together. I’m so grateful that he looks out for me… he’s such a gentleman. 🙂 Thank you to all of the guys that are kind-hearted, who help and look out for us. We really appreciate your care, love, support, and protection.

Even through all of this, I had a great night. After the concert we went to Denny’s and listened to ridiculous songs on the way home. I’m sleepy now. My throat’s a little sore, and I cough often when I talk. But after all the fun I had tonight, I’d say it was worth it. 🙂

The Strength of Studying Strength of Materials

I have come to face the fact that I will soon give my life over to my Strength of Materials class.

Yes, yes, this really is a bummer, mostly because the subject matter is boring as dirt. It’s all about stresses and how much force a rod or pipe or beam can take until it snaps. (Sounds a lot like a college student, right? I’d really not like to find out my yield strength, thanks.)

One of the reasons that it just hit me now, three weeks into the quarter, that I’m going to have to sacrifice my free time to such an atrocity is the fact that I haven’t had to take a hard-core engineering course for a year. (The last one was dynamics, and if you know me, you know how well that went… yay for switching majors!) So I kinda forgot the true dedication that goes into doing such a thing. My eyes were opened today after a short brain spasm induced by realizing I forgot to take an online quiz last night, followed by the frustration of not understanding most of the material to date, and then the realization that I can in fact succeed at this if only I put my mind to it.

Well, mind, prepare to be dedicated to this, because over the course of the next two months I’m going to kick this class in the butt.

Spending ten hours (or more) per assignment on homework? Check. Watching all the videos the professor posts to ensure comprehension? Check. Asking if I need help? Double-check… that one’s happening for sure.

It’s really cool how much your attitude can affect your performance. I could have easily given up and just refused to learn anything more from this point forward, but instead I know that I need this class to graduate (if for no other reason), that I do need to take it now (or else my four-and-a-quarter plan is thrown off), and that I really can do it.

So here’s to this quarter’s non-life… the future you will thank you. 🙂

Enthusiasm

There is most definitely an owl hooting outside my apartment. It’s a little too cool for words.

I made a simple yet awesome discovery today. While working behind our front desk, many of our Hall Council members trickled in to work on a community project of some sort. And the whole time they were in there, they were talking joyfully and laughing and having fun. It got me thinking that while I really wouldn’t like being on Hall Council because it isn’t my cup of tea, it’s something that they really love to do. And that’s when it dawned on me: it’s their enthusiasm for what they were doing that made it sound so fun.

Enthusiasm. It’s really the key to everything. The way to make work more enjoyable, to feel fulfilled in life. If you have a passion for something – anything, it really doesn’t matter what – you have the ability to do something awesome with it and allow it to change your life while also benefiting someone else’s. I know from experience that the times that I’ve most enjoyed my job as an advisor have been when I have been truly excited about what I was doing, and I know it showed. It made me work harder. It made the time fly by. It made me want to repeat the activity, to be an advisor forever.

And this, like I said, can really be applied to anything: future jobs, an extracurricular activity, your homework assignment (if you really are passionate about, say, Strength of Materials… which I’m not, unfortunately.). Doing these things is what really makes us shine. What I immediately related it to was some people’s enthusiasm for God. It’s one thing to go to church, do all the rituals and say all the “Our Father”s, but it’s another thing to actually put your heart and soul into it. Have you ever noticed that some people just seem to be radiating with their love for God? They just seem to be happier, truly content, and I get the feeling that everything will work out for them just because they have God in their lives. Also, they have no problem talking about who God is and what He means to them (as well as inviting people to church), which is something I’ve never really been able to do. And I’ve always wanted this kind of happiness for myself, yet I just didn’t know where to look.

But it’s not about looking – no, it’s about feeling. I need to feel this passion. I need to be this enthusiastic about it. Not force myself into a religion that I think may work, possibly, one day if I pray hard enough – no. I need to feel their joy, and to allow myself to do so. I need to let go, to try something new here, to not be afraid to completely throw myself into something that could be wonderful and just what I’m hoping to find.

So… yes. Enthusiasm. Passion. Life. I hope to put my heart into so many things, to not be afraid to fall so that one day I can soar.

Hello Again, World!

POSTING!!! Finally! It’s been two months, ish, and I’m finally taking writing up again! Yippee! (It’s been so long I had to reorient myself with WordPress and figure out how to post… fail.)

So this post is going to be catch-up, kinda, cuz why not? Full of the new awesome things I’ve discovered, everything that’s happened, etc. etc. etc. Really not that exciting for any outside reader, but hey, it’s life to me, so I love it! 😀

So! The two awesome new discoveries I’ve made in the past few months:

1. Mumford & Sons. Ooh goodness. Mumford & Sons is a British folksy-bluegrass-y (ahh, I cringe at the word) band with poetically real lyrics that really, well, say something. They’re full of knowledge and truth, and when I listen to them, I’m filled with hope about love and the future and life in general. It’s just… so beautiful. Please, if you haven’t, go listen to them. They are most definitely high up on my “Best Bands Ever” list. (And another thing? Every single song on their album is good. Oh man, I love it when that happens!)

2. The Hunger Games. I got hooked on this series over winter break. I can’t really tell you what it’s about, because saying anything kind of gives it away. And I actually haven’t finished the series yet – I’m 100 pages into the last one (there are three) and now that I’m back at school I only find the time to read for my history class. What I can say is this: Suzanne Collins does an excellent job in writing this sci-fi, futuristic page-turner. She words things so vividly and interestingly, and I strive to be able to write like her.

These two things have been nothing short of obsessions over the past few months. I just can’t get enough of them. My friends are probably sick of me talking about them, but they should listen to/read them and get hooked too.

Other fantastic things…

  • I made the dean’s list at school last quarter! 😀 My GPA hasn’t been this high since high school. (and even then, it was much higher… welcome to college.) I thoroughly enjoyed last quarter and feel like I’m definitely in the right major.
  • I went to Hawaii over the break with Davis’s family. Oh goodness was it fun! And soooo relaxing… 🙂 I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have him and them in my life.
  • Over Thanksgiving break I dyed my hair blue! That was pretty awesome. I used temporary dye, and it came out in a week or so (which was sad… I wish it would have stayed a little longer!). But on the other hand I have extra dye, so I can do it again any time I want.
  • My little brother Mikie broke both his wrists in November. It was so sad, but at the same time so uplifting to experience his positive attitude about it. I really look up to him – he just keeps smiling, and I strive to be like that too. Luckily now he’s out of his casts and is itching to start karate (I told him how fun it was and now he can’t wait to try it too!).
  • I got a new cell phone for Christmas (which is awesome! I can’t believe I resisted upgrading for so long…). I also got – wait for it – my passport. I’m getting closer and closer to going to Italy this summer.

Yay for life and excitingness and stuff. Today’s been nonstop, running around all over campus to go to class, meetings, the gym, etc. I’ve barely had a moment completely to myself, and now I’m so happy I got to spend this time blogging! I feel more productive today than I have in a long time, which is awesome. I want to keep my productivity up, so back to work it is! Here’s hoping I write again soon 🙂