Sleep

Long day. Hard day. Too much to do, no time for it. Thoughts race through your mind as you lay there, faster and faster, making it extremely difficult to breathe and try to relax. Inhale, hold, exhale; it will all be okay. After a while, your mind slows down and the world melts away.

After leaving the land of the real and entering only your own mind, time seems to stop indefinitely. Here is a whole new world where you float lightly along the unconscious instead of trying to keep up with your brain. It enables you to dabble here and there in things you don’t even think are possible. The strangest thoughts sometimes linger with you, giving you one more thing to ponder during your waking hours in attempt to unravel them and figure them out. But most of the time these wild fantasies are lost forever, never to be seen again. Your brain carries on, secretly working on your real-life problems behind the mask of your dreams. These fleeting minutes seem to last for eternity, and you unknowingly but gratefully accept them. You are forever trapped in the bliss of the unreal – that is, until your alarm clock screams at you to wake up again, forcing you back into the harsh and repetitive reality of life, where you only long for sleep once more.

Ubiquitous

I’ve come to the realization that God is everywhere.

I mean, I’ve heard this since I was little and have known and felt it my whole life, but just recently my eyes were opened to it yet again. God truly is all around us.

I started thinking about it tonight when I read a blog entry by my friend about how her friend’s dad seems to be everywhere for her. This friend of hers was her freshman little buddy when she was a senior, and every day without fail she would pass the girl’s dad driving up the hill to school while she herself was going down it. To make matters, well, more God-like, I guess, this man is old and very peaceful-looking, and he has a long white beard, so he really does look kind of like a physical representation of God. It became a bit of a joke with her, a conversation of sorts. Every once in a while she’d say, “Yeah, I saw my little buddy’s dad driving up the hill again yesterday, even though I left early for a doctor’s appointment” or “Her dad was on the hill when we left after our cross-country practice.” She even went to visit school a few days ago after coming home from college for spring break, and sure enough, when she left, he happened to be going up the hill at the same time. While this whole thing might sound creepy to some people, I don’t think it’s creepy at all. It’s just one of those weird little coincidences that’s kind of cool in a way, and it made me think about how God is kind of similar.

To me I see God as that plastic that meat is vacuum-wrapped in when it’s frozen. Yes, I realize it’s a weird analogy, but here’s why I see it that way: Imagine you’re that piece of meat. The plastic completely covers and surrounds you, and there’s no getting out of it, just like there’s no getting away from God. It is everywhere for you, and it works to trap in the cold, which gets inside and is part of you, just like God is part of everyone.

God is truly everywhere. No longer is he the big scary-looking man painted on church ceilings around the world. He doesn’t exist far away from us, only watching and letting us live without any interference from him at all. Instead, he is right here with us. He is in every molecule of air, which (just like the frozen-meat plastic) surrounds us completely and makes it impossible to escape him. He fills our insides too, so not only is he around us, but he’s in us, too.

To me, God is love. Anything and everything that that has life and/or has somehow known love has God in it. God is life, and God is anything that takes your breath away. I really think that we are not alone, and that God truly is everything.

He’s in everything, too. He’s it the sunsets we watch, the grass we lay on, the air we breathe. He’s in the music we listen to, the hugs we give and receive, the smiles that change our days for the better. He’s in all the little things as well as the big things too.

God is responsible for what happens in the world. I’m not sure if I really believe in the idea of “predestination” or not, but I do know this: there are too many coincidences in the world for them to all be purely coincidental. Life on Earth alone is an example of that. I’ve also found this to be true in my life. Some of the paths I’ve crossed on my journey could not have just happened by chance. I’m starting to think it wasn’t luck that brought some of my friends and I together, including my boyfriend and me. I think God somehow planned it that way, planned for us to meet, planned for me to be at the school I’m at, planned it all.

I also believe that this doesn’t really have anything to do with religion. While it is definitely a huge factor in religion, people can believe in God even if they aren’t “religious.” To me, he’s the beauty inside everything, something that can be found within all. And isn’t it right to recognize the beauty in life and to attribute it to something bigger? We didn’t create the world; that was God’s doing. And isn’t it a wonderful world at that?

So why not celebrate him? Celebrate life, celebrate everything that we’ve been given. From the rain to the earthworms to the friends we have, enjoy and appreciate life, and remember that God, who made all of it, is there with you.

My Friend Dara

I’m so lucky to have the friends that I do.

I spent most of today with my friend Dara. We got together this morning to study, which is normally our excuse for hanging out (since we’re both advisors, fairly studious, and always super busy). And in normal hang-out fashion, we got to talking.

And it’s just in talking with her, in the moments where we’re doubled over because we’re laughing so hard, or the ones where we’re using our hands to gesture what we mean because we can’t find the words, or the ones where we’re holding each other so tightly to try to hold back tears, that I’ve found another true friend.

We’re two girls wandering the earth just trying to figure things out and enjoying every second of it.

I’m so appreciative to have her as a friend. She’s incredibly gifted both academically and musically, and her happiness, hope, and beliefs rub off on me. She makes me want to be my very best, and by being herself teaches me to never waver in what I truly believe. We are such similar people that I feel like I can relate to her on almost every level. She’s strength for me: sometimes, when I feel like I’m battling the world, I can look to her and see she’s fighting it too. We’re in the same boat, we think the same way. I feel like I’m failing with words tonight, that this can’t do her justice, but she’s truly an amazing person and I am so incredibly thankful to have her in my life.

It’s hard some days when the world around me is so ridden with darkness, when everyone is telling me that things are okay when I know they really aren’t, when people jump to the worst conclusions but when those conclusions no longer seem bad to them – it’s hard to keep fighting and to listen to that little voice inside. So it’s nice to have Dara there, someone who walks with me, who sees it all the same way I do, the lone battler who doesn’t think I’m crazy but instead thinks I’m right, too.

Rabbit Hole

It’s the simplest things that sometimes end up looking the coolest.

Take a glass of water, for example. On the outside, it’s so plain – just a clear cup holding the liquid that keeps us alive, something that we take for granted. But tip it up and take a sip, and you could see a whole new world. It’s a rabbit hole made up of reflections and swirling colors. Light bounces off the ridges and the world starts turning upside down. Pictures are splitting, things go backwards, nothing looks right, but it’s not alarming. Instead, it’s beautiful. You fall into it, and for an instant it takes you far away from the noise and stress of our normal, everyday life.

It’s all about how you look at things. Like sure, really, this is all just in the instant that you take a sip of water, and without looking, without paying attention, you might (and probably will) miss it altogether. But the point is that the beauty is there, if we take a second to find it and appreciate it. It’s around us, waiting to be found and enjoyed.

Fractions

This song makes me feel so alive.

It’s the song of happiness, of hope, of love. It draws me in and surrounds me, giving me encouragement when I need it most. It makes everything that much more magical, the world around me more beautiful, more special, more tangible, more real. I can feel the life in it, and it becomes mine. The rhythm is my heartbeat. Her voice is soothing and wonderful, taking me down a different emotional path each time I hear the song. Every note is like a new adventure just waiting to be had. I can feel God in this song, feel Him smiling.

I could listen to it on repeat for hours, never tiring of it. My dream is to sit in the dark and turn it up really loud, letting it fully surround me and engulf me in its awesomeness. I see colors swirling in front of me in the dark and my soul dancing to it.

This, by the way, is where I got the title to my blog from: it’s the misheard lyric from this song. It’s called “Fractions” by Decoder Ring.

Go listen to it. Turn off all the lights, close your eyes, and let your soul journey too.

Pie Makings (Part 1)

I walked into the kitchen this morning to my roommate making pie.

Pie, you may ask? Why make pie first thing in the morning?

Take a look at your calendars, good people. Tomorrow is the great mathematical Pi Day, celebrated by nerds all over the world who take the time to – that’s right – eat pie.

Anna (my roommate, who’s the one hiding behind the pies) has been talking about making seven pies for the occasion for the past few weeks. I guess I’d forgotten that she’d be making them today (or, well, this morning) so I was pleasantly surprised when I found her there, working on Pie Number Five, the Strawberry Pie. She had been up all night baking, which was my original intent too (not to be making pies though – I would have used my time studying dynamics and using pi instead) … until I fell asleep. Thanks to her efforts, we shall have seven different kinds of pie tomorrow, including blueberry, key lime, chocolate, strawberry (as mentioned previously), Dutch apple, pecan, and pumpkin. I’m also trying to push her to make an eighth pie: peanut butter, which is definitely the most delicious in my opinion. No doubt you’ll hear more about this tomorrow too, but until then, they will torture me by sitting on the counter, unable to be eaten.